Top 10 Hints That You Are Going To Have A Rough Meet As The Referee

1. Meet Manager informs you that based on your last meets performance he's decided to skip appointing a jury of appeal and just notify the S.W.A.T. team instead

2. One of your own little darlings has placed bubble bath in your whistle

3. You overhear the Chief Timer giving the instructions "One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, ...." to the Timers during their briefing

4. The place judge tells you that determining the finish order of 8 lanes was too difficult and so they used "the force" after the first 10 minutes of the meet

5. You overhear the newly trained stroke and turn judge asking whether there are any more cases of DQ slips

6. The Meet Manager, going through a personal crisis, tells you that we all think too linearly and achieves a new abstract design with the lane ropes in the pool

7. In trying out your new whistle outside the pool you attract the attention of a pack of pit bulls

8. The Starter, a new graduate of some assertivenes training, tells the swimmers "THIS IS YOUR SECOND START! GOT THE PICTURE LANE 4!!!!!!!"

9. You have to break up a fight between the two male marshalls over who has control of the remote in the T.V. room

10. You hear that the Canadian Medical Association has announced that there is nothing to fear from the chlorine put into swimming pools unless you are a few feet above an agitated surface for hours at a time. Under those conditions they suggest you up your life insurance as soon as possible!